florkwifcat

I do not own a single one of these

They belong to neighbours, to the street, to a vet I have never met. I pick them up, we stand there, someone takes a photo. Then I put the cat back exactly where I found it.

01florkwifcat
It could not hold the bottle. I can hold the bottle. This is the whole arrangement.
02florkwifcat
Stood like this for eleven minutes. Neither of us wanted to be the one who moved.

Nobody taught me how to hold a cat. I just have long arms and no plans.

on technique
03florkwifcat
She was mid sentence about something. I did not follow it.
04florkwifcat
Picked up for two seconds. The two seconds are still going.
05florkwifcat
He covered my eyes. I let him. He seemed to need the win.
House rule

If a cat is holdable and no one has objected out loud within four seconds, the cat is held. There is no step after that. There has never needed to be.

06florkwifcat
This one came over on its own. Those are the good days.
07florkwifcat
I was going to the shop. I am no longer going to the shop.
08florkwifcat
Sat down next to me first. Getting held was its idea, not mine.

Every cat I have ever put down has looked at me like I quit early.

on endings
09florkwifcat
Warm. Heavier than it looks. Deeply unimpressed by me.
10florkwifcat
The owner walked past and said nothing. I take that as a yes.
11florkwifcat
Cold when I found it. Not cold now. That is the entire job.

The cat is temporary. The holding is the part I am good at.

I have never once gone looking. It happens on the way to somewhere else, which is why I am late to most things and have stopped explaining why.

People ask what the plan is. There is no plan. There is a cat, and there are my arms, and the two facts meet several times a week without any input from me.

Currently holding something CA: soon